Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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