First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Welp...herpes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
