If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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