I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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