I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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