Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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