Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
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Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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