Got a toothbrush?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
