Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
