Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
