..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize