i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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