She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Houston, we have a blender
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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