That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
