I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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