my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
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Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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