Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
