I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
