just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Randomize
