For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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