I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
