hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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