Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
