I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
