I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
