just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
