I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize