I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
