OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
