U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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