Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize