is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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