I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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