I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
