i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
