Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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