He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
