I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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