you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
