I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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