are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
