Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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