If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
