I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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