they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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