Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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