hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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