Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
