i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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