I have demons in me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
