so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
