it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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