apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
