The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
