pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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