I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
