Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
