he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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