dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
