We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
