I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?