TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
