I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
