I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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