I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
