Who wears a wallet chain?!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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